ASK ELLE: How Can I Be Better About Taming My Tongue?
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When was the last time you gave yourself a tongue check?
That sounds kind of weird, I know, but what I mean by that is this: our words are strong weapons that hold great potential- to harm and to heal. (Proverbs 18:21)
Our tongues, although they may be small, are capable of creating great disasters. James 3:6 tells us when the tongue is not controlled, it is like a fire that rages out of control🔥 James refers to it as a restless evil, full of deadly poison☠️ They can destroy marriages, friendships, careers, reputations, even lives. Used the right way, however, they can heal marriages, friendships, careers, reputations, and even save lives.
Now, I’m just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to taming my tongue. One minute, I can be found praising my Creator with it. The next minute, I can be found saying things I shouldn’t—knowing good and well that I shouldn’t—in order to fit in or make myself “feel better” about a certain situation.
The truth is, we always have a choice when we speak. It is our responsibility in Christ to armor up and fight against our sin-prone flesh and commit to saying words that instill love, light and hope instead of darkness and despair.
In order to do this, we must acknowledge that we simply cannot do this in our own strength! James 3:8 makes this abundantly clear. James says, “but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil,full of deadly poison” (ESV). We must instead partner with the Holy Spirit and allow ourselves to be led by Him.
Today, I am sharing a few tips and questions that I hope you will consider and find helpful when it comes to being more mindful of the words you speak. May the words that leave our lips be gracious, sweet, and God-honoring.
THREE TANGIBLE WAYS TO TAME YOUR TONGUE
MEDITATE ON HIS WORD
Meditate on the many Scriptures that teach about the power of your tongue. James 3 is a great place to start!THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK
Pray that God would give you a strong sense of discernment when it comes to what you should and should not say. Pray that He would guard your mouth from saying words that bring nothing but darkness and destruction. Psalm 141:3: “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (ESV). Pray for the boldness to speak up when no one else will. Seek to make your mouth a fountain of life. Proverbs 10:11: “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence” (ESV).
FILL YOUR MOUTH WITH LIFE, NOT DEATH
Be intentional about lifting others up. Speak life into those around you. Yes, even the people you do not enjoy being around. You never know what kind of impact God will use your words to make in the hearts of others. Set the example. (Ephesians 4:29)
The words we allow to roll of our tongue matters—so, so much—and we will be held accountable for our actions one day.
As we consider the charge James give us to be slow to speak and quick to hear, I want to wrap up this question by sharing 6 questions to help us all be mindful of the things we say. Because we can all be better.
💛What is my motive in saying this?
💛Are my words truthful and rooted in love?
💛Are my words necessary?
💛Are my words filled with pride?
💛Are my words seasoned with salt?
💛Will my words point others to Christ?
Proverbs 16:24 says, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body” (ESV).
May the words that leave our tongues be gracious, sweet, and God-honoring!