Oh, what joy I felt on the Thursday afternoon of June 26th! This was the day I was going to hear my baby’s heartbeat to be sure my Angel Baby was doing alright. Not too long before then, I wrestled with the thought of having another child. I wasn’t ready. However, God asked me if I trusted Him with providing for me and my growing family. I did. So I became excited about carrying this bundle of joy inside of me.
As the technician moved the Doppler around the surface of my belly, I was anxious to hear Angel Baby’s heartbeat, but the technician couldn’t detect a sound. As I looked up at the monitor, I was praying to God to hear a sound, even if it was a faint heartbeat, but there was nothing. As the technician measured the fetus, she realized Angel Baby had stopped developing. It couldn’t be happening, at least not to me. It was though. My Angel Baby was gone. She was still in me, lifeless. I gathered my belongings and walked to my car. When I got inside my car, I began to sob uncontrollably.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
-Psalm 34:18 (NLT)
Has your heart ever been broken into so many pieces? Have you ever experienced love lost that it feels like you can’t go on and don’t want to go on? Have you ever been so broken that you have wondered if God is really there with you?
I have. It hurts.
You lose yourself in the pain. You weep all day and night. You begin to wonder if there is real purpose for your life. You lose sight of who you are. Why would God allow this pain is a question you may ask yourself?
Know that God is with you.
“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” -Psalms 147:3 (NLT)
Why He allows us to go through hurt and pain, I’m not sure. However I do know that He is there right beside you when you cry those silent tears. His loving arms are wrapped around you when you are up late at night crying and grieving. God reminds you that you were created with purpose and He gives you the courage to fight on. He’s there and has been there the whole time
Give all your hurt to God, He cares so much for you.
About the Author
Janteya Ford≫ ≫ Janteya Ford is a mother, daughter, sister, and friend. She resides in Minneapolis, MN, where you can find her creating memories with her loved ones, dining at a fancy restaurant, sipping espresso at a cozy coffee shop, or checking out art at one of her favorite museums. She is currently pursuing her passions as an entrepreneur through various ventures. Her extreme passion for writing and sharing God's amazing love brought her to Daughter of Delight. She prays that she can be a blessing to all who read.
