EP 64: Navigating Heartbreak and Hope Part Two | Selah’s Story
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Saturday, November 6 at 5:49 AM: Selah Bryn is Born
7 pounds, 15 ounces, 22 inches long
60 seconds of skin to skin before she was taken to the NICU
NICU STAY 11/06/21-11/11/21
Once in the NICU, Selah was given prostins, which would keep her PDA blood vessel open until her first official surgery. This blood vessels main function takes place while the baby is still in the womb. Once the baby is born, it goes away on its own around the 9 hour mark after a baby has been born. In Selah’s case, however, her PDA needed to remain open because it was working in her favor outside of the womb, too. The point of the first official heart surgery she would have days later would be to place a manmade part called a stent that would keep her PDA vessel open until she was old enough to have her blood flow rerouted, which would be months down the road at the time.
Sometimes heart babies have to go straight into surgery as soon as they are born. In Selah’s case, because the prostins were available, she had the blessing of time to adjust to being in the world. Her little body was able to adjust and rest for 5 days before things really started to unfold for her. Oftentimes, heart parents will call this the honeymoon period. And it certainly felt like that for us. I got to breastfeed, we got to enjoy all the skin-to-skin snuggles, and we were being told over and over again how impressed the doctors were with Selah because she had zero need for oxygen intervention during this time and her heart also looked better than what they thought it would.
STENT PROCEDURE 11/11/21
Based on how Selah’s heart looked, it was determined that she would be able to have a stent instead of a shunt. This was an answered prayer for us because a stent procedure is much less invasive than a shunt placement. With a stent, a long, thin tube called a catheter is inserted into a blood vessel, usually through the groin. A shunt placement, however, is an open heart surgery.
STENT PROCEDURE: Thursday, November 11
One of the first tender touches we felt from the Father during our time in the NICU was realizing that a church friend was going to be the nurse during Selah’s heart cath. Talk about a small world. The chances of this happening were SLIM, but the Lord made a way. Maggie, if you are listening to this, we love you!! Maggie would go on to become our hospital bestie because we were not allowed visitors due to the pandemic, and because she was hospital staff, she was able to come and go as much as she pleased. She even brought us bath towels that I still have. Woops!
Selah was taken down to the OR for heart cath on the 11th around 11 AM. It’s hard to explain what it’s like to watch your helpless newborn be rolled away for a life saving surgery. The NICU room we were in was all of a sudden empty and Michael and I spent so much time in there praying that things would go well as we waited.
We received update calls every 60-90 minutes during surgery. At one point in time, the call was taking longer than usual, and I had a terrible feeling something had gone wrong.
As it turns out, we were called down to meet with the surgeon because the stent placement had failed. Our newborn baby had spent hours unconscious in the OR for what turned out to be a failed surgery, and the only option left was emergency heart surgery on the same day. This was the longest day of my life. Well, the first longest day of my life, at least. Unfortunately, there were more to come during our time in the hospital. But we did not know if Selah was going to make it. So much stress for such a tiny, precious body to endure. We were terrified, but we were not without hope, and we were so thankful the shunt was still an option for her.
Dr Christian - over 30+ years experience and one of the hospital’s best, if not the best.
I got to see my baby girl’s chest scar free for a total of five days. Five. Days. I wish I would have known this day would be the last I would see her scar free, but at the end of the day all I longed for was to have her back in my arms.
Talk about Tarah, Dr Kavanaugh and the family room.
10 PM or so that night, we got the news Selah had done well and was going to be taken up to the PCICU for recovery and we would be able to see her in a few hours. I cannot even tell you the amount of relief and praise that flooded my body.
Dr Janson called and left a voicemail after hearing Selah had a successful shunt placement. In fact, I believe he stayed through the emergency surgery when he didn’t have to do that. He was so disappointed he was unable to place the stent but we were so encouraged by his willingness to call us and tell us he is praying for her.
PCICU POST SHUNT 11/11/21
It was somewhere around 11 or 12 on the evening of November 11 we finally got to see Selah. She had been in the OR for well over 10 hours.
Before going to her room, we had a meeting with a woman who prepares parents with the knowledge of what they are about to walk in to. She had pictures of what the room would look like, she explained the purpose of the equipment in the room, and she answered any questions we had. I was extremely thankful to be given this visual before walking into Selah’s room because it was incredibly overwhelming. Selah had so much attached to her, her chest was still open and she was swollen with all the extra fluid her body required during surgery. But she was alive, and I could see the beating of her heart from the opening in her chest.
The reason her chest was still open was mostly for easy access in the event that she sustained an infection or needed unexpected intervention.
Michael and I eventually went back to the family room the hospital had given us to rest the best we could, praying we wouldn’t get a phone call about anything bad that had gone wrong with Selah. Thankfully, she made it through the night post surgery problem free. Thanks be to God!
When we got to the room the next morning, Selah was moving around to the sound of our voices. She was still heavily sedated from everything, but it was incredibly encouraging to know that she knew who we were. Bless her beautiful heart. I spent nearly the entire day by her side, holding her hand, singing and praying over her. At only 6 days old, my daughter was already the strongest person I knew.
Around 3 pm on this day, Dr Christian came in with her team to close Selah’s chest. In the PCICU, the prayer for all the parents and staff is boring days and boring nights. No surprises! So, while Selah remained on the ventilator, we prayed for boring days and boring nights in order for her body to have the rest and receive the healing it needed. Once Selah’s breathing tube was removed, we would finally be able to hold her in our arms again.
Thanks be to God, Selah was removed from her breathing tube the next day and Michael and I got to hold our girl. She was also transitioned back to bottle feeds, which is pretty uncommon for babies this soon after a shunt procedure), AND she was moved to a room where she did not need the attention of a nurse around the clock.
At this point, there was really only one thing that needed to happen before we could step out of the ICU and into the general pediatric cardiac wing. That is, removing her arterial line. This is a catheter that is guided by ultrasound and inserted into an artery, making it extremely easy to draw blood instead of being poked around the clock. While we waited for her blood test results to be where we wanted them, baby girl continued to sleep and heal.
PERICARDIAL EFFUSION 11/15/21
While we were in the ICU, we were able to stay in one of the hospital’s family rooms. This was so nice because it gave us a bed and kept us close to Selah in the event that anything happened.
If you have a child in the ICU, you know the fear of receiving THAT phone call in the middle of the night.
Unfortunately, the day after Selah was removed from the ventilator, Michael and I woke up to an early morning phone call that told us we needed to get back to the room. Selah’s bloodwork had come back with high lactate levels. While performing an echocardiogram—essentially an ultrasound of the heart–to determine what might be causing this, the technician discovered fluid around Selah’s heart. This is also called a pericardial effusion. Dr. Christian determined that it would be best to reintubate Selah and open her chest again to drain the fluid. She also told us in the same breath that it wasn’t really a setback. I know she told us this to make us feel better, but my eyes were on Selah and she looked awful. She was so, so blue. I am so thankful they waited to remove Selah’s arterial line and that the blood test revealed the effusion in a timely manner.
It was back to the waiting room for me and Michael. Both of us were constantly crippled by our helplessness for our child. I am so thankful we had each other and they hope of Christ to hold onto. Truly, there are no words to describe how utterly difficult this journey has been- especially those first few months of life.
Selah did well during her procedure, praise the Lord! But they were unable to identify the exact source of the fluid. It was a small pool of blood in a contained area, and although they don’t know what caused it they were able to remove it all. Dr. Christian assured us the shunt looks great and her heart looked happy. Sometimes things like pericardial effusions “just happen”. No parent wants to hear that, though. My anxious and fear filled mama heart wanted an answer…a solution so that I wouldn’t have to worry about it happening again. I didn’t get that. But here’s what I did get: an invitation from the Lord to trust in Him. I couldn’t help but view the things that were completely out of my control as an invitation from the Father step into an even greater trust in His heart for Selah’s heart. Deep down, I knew it was the very best thing I could do for her and myself, and so I tried very, very hard to constantly surrender my fears for trusting in His ways.
Our time in the ICU essentially started over again after this procedure. Selah would have to tell us when she was ready to be extubated, have consistent steady vitals, good blood gas numbers, and we would have to reintroduce bottle feeds as well. At this point, Michael and I had been in the hospital with baby girl for 10 days.
It broke my heart to see Selah sedated, on a ventilator and out of my arms yet again. But I was determined to trust that what happened was God’s way of protecting her. It wasn’t my responsibility to fully understand it all, even though I wanted the full picture. It was my responsibility, however, to lean in and trust. Despite the heartbreak of the events that had transpired with Selah at this point, Romans 8:28 kept coming to mind. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28 Not some things. ALL. things.
While we waited for Selah to rest, heal and be extubated, I spent the days rubbing her feet, playing with her toes, holding her hand, rubbing her head, and singing and praying over her.
As Selah came off her sedation and was opening her eyes and looking around, I spotted a special strength and courage I had not yet encountered anywhere else. When our eyes met, I would catch a glimpse of the ways in which the Lord loves and delights in her. aAnd I couldn’t help but cry.,. Because no matter how much I felt like my heart was going to burst with love when I laid eyes on her,. The One who breathed her life into my womb loves her so much more. And although I couldn’t control the things unforeseen, she remained in His tender, loving care every step of the way. God is fully sovereign and fully good in the unforeseen. Never has Selah gone a day outside of His love. Never have any of life events taken place outside of His sovereign sight.
GRADUATED FROM ICU 11/20/21
On Saturday, November 20, 2021, Selah graduated from the ICU and we transitioned to the general pediatric cardiac wing. This is huge because it required Michael and I to be more hands on with her. I cannot even tell you how many snuggles I soaked in as soon as I could get my arms around her! Michael, too. We took snuggle shift turns!
At this point, Selah was progressing really well. We started to work on reintroducing the bottle while she continued to be fed with a feeding tube, and she took to the bottle like a champ. We were hopeful she would be able to exclusively bottle and breast feed once her body had fully healed from her shunt surgery because of how well she took to the bottle. Often times, babies need NG tubes for quite some time. The speech therapist who observed her during this time told us we had no idea how good it felt for her to see Selah take the bottle so well because she hardly ever saw it with heart babies this soon out from their procedure.
Selah’s medical team started referring to her as a little rockstar for how well she had and was continuing to progress despite what she had been through.
As we focused on bottle feeding, we also worked on Selah having consistent oxygen saturation levels. We wanted to see her consistently between 75-85 (90+ is average for the normal heart, this range is average for her specific heart anatomy). As she continued to heal, she continued to sit and stay within range, which was great.
At one point, there was talk we would be discharged on Thanksgiving. Michael and I were so hopeful and excited we could take our little turkey home!
As we prepared for discharge, Michael and I took something called “homeward bound” classes to learn how to properly care for Selah’s needs. She would have to have a handful of medications, daily shots and we would have to learn how to handle her NG tube and administer her feeds through the pump it was attached to. We also got a CPR refreshed. It was a LOT to learn, but we had a chance to incorporate it while the nurses were present to help us get comfortable and confident for when we took her home. That was sooo helpful!
This episode is brought to you by my friends at Christian Healthcare Ministries. CHM is a faith-based, non profit, voluntary, cost sharing ministry through which hundreds of thousands of Christians across the globe share each other’s eligible medical bills. CHM is not insurance. It is, quite literally, Christians helping other Christians carry one another’s burdens with their healthcare expenses. During our time as CHM members, my family has had over $25,000 shared in medical bills. Talk about a blessing!
Being a part of the Christian Healthcare Ministries family has completely changed the way my family approaches health care! We love getting to help fulfill the needs of our brothers and sisters in Christ and witness the fruit that stems from the heart of this faithful ministry.
If you’re ready to approach healthcare from a biblical perspective, you can learn more about Christian Healthcare Ministries by visiting info.chministries.org/daughterofdelight or clicking the link in today’s show notes. You’ll be so glad you did!
Nothing really ever goes as expected in the hospital. Hospital time is a completely different ball game and every single heart baby is different, so finding the balance for each one is like a puzzle. Truly, it is.
Right before we were supposed to go home, Selah’s oxygen levels were randomly dipping. 75-85 was the range she needed to be in and she was dipping into the low 70s, high 60s. This kept us from getting to go home on Thanksgiving, sadly, but we were so happy it happened before we went home. Selah had some blood work done and a few additional tests and scans that revealed nothing. She had just been put on a new medication and my husband had the thought that maybe it was somehow causing her body to react with dips in her oxygen. We brought it up to her medical team for 2-3 days straight and it continued to get pushed aside. When it was time for rounds again, I watched Michael really fight for our girl. He asked what the specific medicine we were concerned about actually did and we couldn’t get a straight answer. “It helps the heart function:
I think the assumption at this point was that her body was communicating it was working hard during her recovery and wanted some extra oxygen support. She was on the smallest amount of oxygen and it did the trick. After giving her a day to relax with it, we started to wean her from it and see what would happen with her oxygen levels.
It was a lot of back and forth with giving her oxygen and turning it down and showing us what she could do. Michael and I were so eager to take her home but also so anxious for an answer in regards to why she couldn’t maintain steady O2 levels.
Around 5 am on the morning of November 26, I woke up to pump. The nurse was also in the room getting Selah’s vitals and monitoring her oxygen levels while Selah slept. Selah ended up waking up during this time and was pretty fussy, so I wrapped up my pumping session and went to help settle her while the nurse wrapped up what she was doing.
What I thought would be 5-10 minutes of getting my baby back to sleep suddenly turned into the worst and longest day of my life.
Selah’s O2 levels started to crash and no amount of oxygen was helping her get them back up. My baby passed out in my hands and before I knew it I was standing in the back of the room watching 15-20 people in the room surrounding her and prepping her for the ICU. Selah was hooked to an oxygen tank and they rolled her out of there so fast. I didn’t even get to take another look at her. I was frozen, trembling, and devastated.
Selah received two rounds of CPR. The first time, she received 10 minutes of it while they hooked her up to the ventilator. Once she was attached to the ventilator, she crashed again and needed 23 minutes. Michael and I were still in the room we had been in the last few days, holding each other and bawling our eyes out, pleading and praying to God that she would live. I remember telling Michael that if Selah wasn’t going to make it, I hope she was already at peace so her body would no longer have to suffer.
One of my absolute favorite people through all of this, one of our surgeon’s nurses named Katrina, came into the room to update us. Things were not looking good and we needed to call our family. Katrina was amazing and we were somehow able to get both of our families in the hospital to be with us while we waited for what we thought would be the news of her time of death.
After she crashed on the ventilator, they had to hook Selah up to ECMO. If you don’t know what ECMO is, simply put, it’s life support. This machine was doing the work for Selah that her tiny little body simply could not. Thankfully, Selah had what is referred to as “just in case” lines still attached to her. These were actually supposed to be removed two days prior but it got delayed. This was such a blessing because the medical team did not have to worry about reinserting them. Thank you Father for Your protection!
Once she was on ECMO and had stabilized, an echocardiogram determined that Selah’s shunt had clotted. It’s rare for something like this to happen. Especially since she was on blood thinner medication AND aspirin to help prevent her from clotting.
We do not think the dips in her O2 levels are linked to her shunt clotting. But we do think it was God’s way of keeping us in the hospital so that we could be exactly where we needed to be when she nearly died. She would not have made it had we been home.
When we were finally able to go and see her, my heart broke all over again. Selah didn’t look like Selah. In fact, she already looked like she had passed on. I really thought this would be my last time to hold her little hand and sing and pray over her. I don’t remember much except for hanging my head and sobbing while her medical team and the ECMO team did their thing around us. In between sobs is when I would sing and pray into her ear. I like to think that she could hear her mama during this time.
Experiencing a lack of oxygen to the brain for an extended period of time resulted in two small brain bleeds and slight damage to Selah’s thalamus (this controls her temperature and movements).
We were unable to determine if she had suffered physically or developmentally in any way at this point because she was sedated and in the process of being prepped for the procedure that would go on to save her life.
This procedure would be provided by the hands of the same surgeon who was initially unable to place the stent. The plan at this point was to stent Selah’s shunt so that the shunt would be more open and allow the blood to have a clearer pathway for blood flow.
Thanks be to God, after almost dying and spending hours in the OR, Selah received a successful stent placement. Meaning, blood flow was successfully restored to her body thanks to the stent. Sister, this child’s life has been filled with one miracle after the next. I’m just so thankful.
After Selah got back to her room in the ICU to recover, she was placed on an EEG monitor that would record her brain wave patterns and determine if she had a stroke or seizure. She did suffer a stroke and two small brain bleeds, but an MRI showed the brain bleeds resolved on their own. In addition, Selah presented NO signs, physical or developmental, that reflected she had had a stroke. Yet another miracle. Thanks be to God.
At this point, we had been at the hospital for 21 days. We hadn’t slept a single night in our bed and we were barely making it ourselves. Selah’s medical team encouraged us to go home because she was resting peacefully and had so many people that would be in her room with her throughout the night.
It was so hard not to feel guilty for leaving her, but it was the right thing to do because Michael and I were able to regroup and get a breath of fresh air. We also slept the best we had since she was born. We called to check on Selah the next morning when we woke up and received some GREAT news.
Selah’s heart function and vitals both looked great and her body had proven overnight that she was ready to be taken off of ECMO. This child, after almost losing her life and going through a life-saving surgery one day prior, only needed ECMO support for 16 hours.
One of the things I wrote down during this time was, “I see the story the Lord is writing through Selah Bryn and, my goodness, what a story she will have to tell.”
Miracles upon miracles.
The days following were filled with stabilizing Selah’s pain while she healed and while we, slowly but surely, made our way back to the general cardiac wing so that we could eventually discharge and go home.
But I’ll be honest. I was not ready to go home. In fact, I felt as if I never wanted to go home. That we belonged in the hospital. Because if anything like that were to happen again, we would already be here instead of 50-minutes down the road. I had some pretty crippling anxiety about the thought of discharging from the hospital, and I was honest with Dr. Kavanaugh, Selah’s cardiologist, when she came to visit us in the ICU. She promised me that day that we were not going home until Selah could consistently prove to us that she was ready. I found comfort in her words, but mostly in the very evident ways I had seen God’s hand at work in her life up to this point. Despite my fear ridden heart, I knew that the Lord held Selah tighter than I ever could.
I knew that, no matter what happened, she was exactly where she needed to be; in His sovereign loving hands.
It is so easy to be weighed down by helplessness. I fought so hard against it, but sometimes I succumbed. One of the most helpful things I felt I could do for my girl was focus on the controllables. For example, pumping. There was a nursing room right outside of the PCICU that I would sneak away to when I felt as if I needed some privacy. Our hospital room offered curtains so Michael and I could have some privacy, but there were times I felt like I needed to be alone with God. So, I would go into the nursing room, turn the light off, turn some worship music on, and cry my eyes out and pray my heart out while I pumped. This felt like my safe place…my secret place for my Father for me to expose and surrender every bit of my broken, questioning heart to my all-knowing, all-loving Father in Heaven. Looking back, I’m really glad I did this. Because not only did pumping allow me to serve my daughter in a way that only I could. It was a place where I was reminded that God sustains. It was a place that offered refuge for a good cry and a regrouping.
Some other things I knew I could control during this time was just how much I loved on my baby. While she slept and recovered, I kissed her, rubbed her head, held her hand, played with her toes, rubbed her feet, sang and prayed over her, held and snuggled her as much as I possibly could when she was finally allowed to be held again, and I also told her over and over again just how much I loved her. Although many of our days in the hospital felt slow and uncertain—if you have ever had a child in the ICU, you likely know just how many ups and downs can occur in a single day–these days were filled with so many tender, loving moments. It’s hard to explain what happens to your heart when you become a mother. But I can tell you it’s the most beautiful thing and the love you have to give suddenly feels as if it’s not enough; as if it will never be enough.
The truth is, it won’t ever be enough. Our love is a very special thing, but it will never satisfy in the ways that the Father’s love does. We are simply incapable of loving our children in a way that completes them, and that’s a good thing. That doesn’t discount our love in any way…in fact, the ways that we love our children are a beautiful picture of how God loves us. Our love should ultimately point our kids to His love. We offer but a sweet, sweet taste of the Father’s endless love for His own!
Before we knew it, December had arrived and our days were starting to constantly be filled with abundant blessings.
Selah got extubated, she was taken off of her pain meds and her sedatives, her physical and occupational therapy appointments were going well, her brain activity looked great, she had her chest tube removed, her RA line taken out, and her arterial line removed as well.
I think this is a great spot for me to give a shoutout to my amazing friends. Not only were they constantly checking on me and dropping off meals, meeting up in the parking garage with me to pray, or walking down 21st avenue with me to grab my favorite drink from Fido…they also worked together to put together Christmas decorations for our hospital room. Some of our favorite nurses contributed some goodies, too! Looking at you Brittany and Mika. We love y’all!
I was so thankful for friends that were willing to navigate such a difficult season for us alongside us. It’s a hard thing to do, and I think there’s a special place for a conversation on navigating hardship with friends. These friends of mine did it so well and I’m just so thankful. They were a constant reminder to me that I was not alone.
DISCHARGED 12/13/22
We were officially discharged from the hospital for the first time since Selah was born on Monday, December 13.
I can remember telling Michael I couldn’t wait for Selah to hear the sound of the birds and to feel the wind against her skin. And that day had finally arrived!
She was not a fan of the car and screamed until she fell asleep, but we made it home. Praise be to God!
Because Selah was shunt dependent, it was pretty important for us to keep her hooked up to a hospital grade pulse oximeter that measured the amount of oxygen in her blood.
That said, we had three really sweet days at home until Selah began to have low oxygen saturation levels.
This interstage period was really stressful because it involved a ton of back and forth to the hospital. By interstage, I mean during the time Selah was shunt dependent. We needed her to grow and be big enough for a very important surgery called the Glenn. Truth be told, this was the riskiest season for her, so any time we had a worry we were picking up the phone to speak to the cardiologist. And, oftentimes when we called about a concern, we were told to make the drive to Nashville and come in. Because, better safe than sorry.
We had another four hospital stays that ranged anywhere from 1-3 weeks at time before her Glenn procedure. I could tell you the details of each stay, but they are minor in comparison to everything she endured. We liked to joke with all of our nurses that we were seeing on a consistent basis that Selah confused the hospital for home and she also just wanted to be around her friends. She adored the nurses, and the nurses adored her.
All that said, we were able to be home for Christmas and introduce her to our families. All I wanted for Christmas was to snuggle on the couch with my family, and I got just that. It’s a memory I will always cling to because it was yet another answered prayer and tender touch from the Lord.
Once we were discharged from the hospital long term, we had an entire month at home together before Selah’s Glenn procedure. By this point, Michael and I kind of felt like heart parent pros in a way. You never want to feel overly confident with a medically fragile child. But we were confident in how she needed to be cared for and how we were advocating for her.
Selah had weekly cardiology appointments in Nashville to be monitored until her Glenn procedure rolled around on Match 7, 2022.
The point of this surgery was to relieve the burden of working overtime that her heart had carried with it since birth. It would offer Selah much more stability and comfort, too. As excited as we were for Selah’s quality of life to really improve, we were sad that in order for that to happen she would have to undergo yet another heart surgery.
This particular surgery would reroute the upper portion of Selah’s blood flow. Doing so would create new pressures in Selah’s body and give her what the hospital referred to as a “two-week migraine” as her body adjusted.
I remember just how heavy my heart felt as I rocked her to sleep the night before her surgery. I quietly sobbed as she fell asleep in my arms, praying over her tiny little body and asking the Lord that this hospital stay would offer no surprises and that we could bring our baby home sooner rather than later.
It’s hard to explain what it’s like to hand your child over for a life-saving surgery. To watch her be rolled away while you have to stay behind and pray that each update bearing phone call offers with it good news.
We didn’t see Selah for 12 hours on the day of her surgery. The surgery itself took around 6 hours, but there are all kinds of preparation protocols that have to be checked and passed off before surgery can start, then there’s the recovery period and the hospital room prep period…combine all these things together and it’s a full day.
In addition, Selah decided to surprise everyone by nearly crashing again before the surgery even started. I have not shared this part of her story anywhere, so if you are listening to this you are the first to know. Prior to the surgery starting, Dr. Kavanaugh, Selah’s cardiologist, and Dr. Christian, Selah’s surgeon, performed a transesophageal echocardiogram, which is an ECHO performed by inserting a probe with a transducer down the esophagus, to get a clearer image of Selah’s heart anatomy and confirm the game plan for her surgery.
While this ECHO was taking place, Selah’s oxygen levels started to crash. There is some debate between what actually caused this to happen, but Dr. Christian said once Dr. Kavanaugh removed the probe, Selah recovered. She thinks it was compressing her airway, which is what caused her O2 levels to drop.
That said, because Selah likes to keep EVERYONE on their toes, they acted fast. Dr. Christian opened her neck and was prepping to hook Selah up to ECMO once again before Selah recovered. Sadly, my baby has yet another scar on her body from this. But we are so thankful she recovered and did not have a need for ECMO.
We have a great relationship with Dr. Kavanaugh and Dr. Christian, and they both agreed because Selah recovered there was no need to have us sitting in angst and worry all day. And they were right. I’m so glad they opted to tell us after the surgery. For us, they made the right call.
That marks a third time we almost lost our baby girl. There are simply no words to describe what it’s like to carry that with you on a day-to-day basis. Truly, I cannot tell you just how thankful we are for God’s provision and protection.
We were in the hospital for 12 days while Selah recovered with debilitating headaches. It was so hard to look into her confused, tear-filled eyes while she endured a pain I could not take away.
Ugh. I hated it. Absolutely hated it. But I continued to remind myself of the stability that awaited us on the other side. Each day that passed brought us closer and closer.
About a month or so after Selah’s surgery is when Selah’s pain started to reside. Since then, she has not needed another hospital stay. Again, that was back in March and now it’s almost August and she is doing SO well.
Her cardiology appointments are spaced out to every three months, we have discharged from physical, speech and occupational therapy, her skin is healing from having been fed via NG Tube for so long, she has weaned off all of her medications except two that she gets one time a day, and our concerns are related to normal baby things. It is SO sweet to be in a season of normalcy and stability for our entire family, and to watch her thrive on a day-to-day basis.
Selah Bryn is a living, breathing miracle and such a testament to what God can and has done.
Her life has been a constant invitation to trust the Lord and savor the moments we have, no matter where they’re shared. And she has pointed Michael and I to our desperate need for Christ and reminded us that only He sustains.
If you are listening to this podcast episode and have met our baby girl, you know she shines with the Father’s joy from the inside out. Selah has this special sparkle in her eyes and she never stops smiling. God’s joy is contagious and this girl so beautifully shares it with those she encounters. It’s her special way of sharing God’s love, and I’m thankful that I get to enjoy it every single day! What an honor it is to be her mama.
Lord willing, Selah only has one surgery left that will reroute the lower portion of her body’s blood flow when she is older. It will likely take place when she is between two and four years old, so we still have quite some time before then.
If you listened to this episode, I want to thank you so much for taking the time to rejoice in what God has done in the life of this beautiful child. It’s very likely that anyone who listens to this was a prayer warrior for Selah. We have an endless amount of letters and Instagram post comments to read to our girl one day. Thank you for loving us so well during this time. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Michael and I cannot wait to tell Selah all about you when she is old enough to understand just how special her story is and just how special of a role you played in it. You have blessed us in more ways than you will ever know through your commitment to Selah’s story and standing alongside us in the trenches. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
As we continue to enjoy life with Selah and trust in all the things God has in store for her life, we also thank and praise Him for the fact that her life has been filled with one answered prayer nd one miracle after the next. I hope during your time listening to this episode that you were able to taste and see the miracles God has done along the way.
Again, Selah’s life has served as a beautiful reminder to us of our need for Christ and I pray her story has served as a beautiful reminder to you of the very same. For only He sustains.
Let me leave you with this today, friend:
Like Selah, your story was written with God’s very hands. And it’s in these very hands that lie the greatest hope and true healing our bodies ultimately long for. In these hands are the very things I pray and long for my daughter and all people to know, love and delight in. In these hands are where we truly belong. And what a beautiful, freeing truth that is.
Soli deo Gloria!
Thank you so much for taking the time to tune in to today’s episode. I am just so stoked to be back and to have the opportunity to serve you through this podcast. If you know someone who would be encouraged by our story, can I ask you a favor? Would you share it with them? It would mean a lot to me and hopefully the person you share it with, too.
I look forward to being back with you next Tuesday, where our special Ask Elle series will return!
Until then, and always for the matter, walk in the ways of the Lord!
Peace be with you, my dear sister. Talk with you soon!