Breaking Free From the Trap of Comparison
Bawling my eyes out in the shower after a long day at the hospital, tears almost as hot as the water hitting my skin I wonder: “Why did I ever worry about anything before?”
Situations in the past several months have caused me so much worry: awkward situations with others, concern about what someone may think, or relationships changing. These general life stressors all felt so consuming at one time. Yet in this moment, wondering if my five-week-old daughter would make it, all of those things felt so trivial. How did I ever let those take up any of my mental energy?
On the other hand, I’ve been on the other side of this game of mental gymnastics before. I’ve told myself things like, “I shouldn’t complain about x,y,z because so-and-so has it so much worse.”
I imagine you’ve been here too. Comparing your hard situation to someone else’s. Ranking it by some arbitrary standard of difficulty, as if to give validity to your suffering.
While speaking to a friend about this, I realized one type of hard should never outrank another. If we let it, these things all do the same thing: reveal the depth of our need for Christ.
The truth is, I need Him just as much when I’m worn thin by everyday stress, as I do when it comes to the life of my child. In fact, I need Him just as much when everything in life is going well! Comparing my difficulties to those of others, or even my own, and ranking them in an effort to give my feelings validity achieves nothing. The reality is, I’m still going to feel a certain way about these situations, and the only one who can offer any perspective, comfort, or strength to keep enduring is the Lord. I need Him for all of it!
Perhaps you’re feeling worn thin today by a difficult situation or general life stressors. Maybe you’re not, and everything is going well. Either way, I encourage you not to play the comparison game. Instead, let’s turn to the Lord as David does in Psalm 28:6-7 (CSB):
Blessed be the LORD,
for he has heard the sound of my pleading.
The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
Thanks be to God.
Meet the Author
Mary Kate Brown
Mary Kate and her husband Brian are high-school sweethearts who left their lifelong home in the Chicago suburbs to build their homestead in rural Western Michigan. She's a homeschooling mama of four daughters and a homebody who enjoys making hot breakfasts, working in her garden, and frequenting the local farmers market. After overcoming health challenges due to autoimmunity, her passion is pursuing wholeness beyond her diagnosis. She encourages other mamas to do the same to shape the wellness of their families.
