Daily Delight
When I was fifteen, I began praying and writing letters for my future spouse like it was a full-time job. I was fixated on this fairy-tale idea of (cue the eye roll) finding ‘The One.’ However, this quest didn’t last very long. By the time I was nineteen, my idealistic pursuit for ‘The One’ had been shattered, and I was left to make meaning of all the broken pieces that had become my life. I had moved through high school and into college aimlessly searching, transitioning from one imprudent dating relationship to the next. Each one came with more mistakes, isolation, resentment, guilt, and regret than the last. I wanted validation and love that were never going to be found where I was looking– I wanted something more. At the end of my first year of college, I found myself completely alone– completely hollow. I couldn’t bear to look at myself in the mirror or even begin to reconcile with who I had become. I had spent so much time placing my identity in relationships that could never satisfy me, that I forgot I was made for a greater love. I could feel the Lord tugging at my heart, but I was trapped in self-loathing and shame.
Eventually, I let Him gather all the broken pieces and put me back together. I sought council, I sought forgiveness, and I sought after what I had really been looking for the whole time– The One. All along, He had been seeking me out, waiting patiently for me to want Him in return. I cannot deny that we long for 'The One', but the one that we really long for is the only one who will love us perfectly and without shame. Everything in our being cries out for a love that will satisfy and fulfill our souls. In our searching, we will always be led back to the One who is Lord of all. Any lesser love, any love not rooted in the Lord, is like sinking sand.
About the Author
Hannah Aulbach
Hannah is a 21-year-old college student from St. Louis, MO, currently finishing up her undergrad in Child & Family Development at Missouri State University. She has worked to keep Christ at the forefront during her college experience, and she hopes to inspire other young women to join her on a Christ-driven journey.
Hannah loves serving the Lord through mission work, and she has spent the past two summers as a local missionary sharing the Gospel with children and teens in the St. Louis area. When she isn’t catching up on projects for school, Hannah can be found on Chick-Fil-A runs with friends, hiking new trails, jamming to her favorite praise & worship, working out, or working on a new painting project.