Daily Delight
Almost two weeks ago now, my husband looked at me and said, "I want my wife back." His words were painful to the ear, but I needed to hear them. The truth is, I have been living from a place of extreme burnout. For months. So much so that it caused me to neglect my marriage along the way.Michael had been hinting for a while that it was time for a change, but I disagreed. I assured him that I was more than capable of balancing it all. Instead of hearing him out, I gave in to my strong drive for success. His initial concern wasn’t that I couldn’t do my work well (like my pride assumed it was), but that I would not be able to be fully present in my marriage with so much on my plate. And he was 100% right.Let me dish you a dose of truth for a second: I have (ashamedly) prided myself in being the breadwinner. When Michael told me he needed his wife back, I got offended and immediately started to defend myself. Instead of hearing his words for what they genuinely meant, I allowed myself to believe a lie that my husband didn't appreciate all that I had contributed toward the financial well-being of our marriage. And it crushed me. But when I took a moment to reflect on the last several months of my life, I saw a lack of presence in our marriage that I allowed my work-life to replace. To give you an idea, I was working 90 hour weeks. That’s more than double the average full-time job. My free time looked a lot like eating dinner, showering and sleeping.I hate that it took so long for me to catch on to the truth that I need to slow down and prioritize the things that are actually important, but I'm glad it finally happened. Talking it out with my husband enabled me to understand the reality of the truth that sacrifice is the true key to marital unity. Not success. The following work day after our y’all took place, I initiated a hard conversation with my employer and put in my two weeks notice. I do not regret this decision and am truly grateful that God convicted me that this change needed to happen in order to fully invest in my marriage. It was a huge learning lesson for me and I hope to be a better wife because of it.I praise God for a husband who was willing to sit me down and call this out of me in order to speak life into me. His protection of our covenant and leadership within it were the very things that opened my eyes and helped me see that things needed to change; sacrifice needed to happen. My husband not only calls out the ugly parts in me and loves me despite them, but he loves me through them as well.If you are functioning from a place of burnout, my prayer for you is that you would not neglect the importance of spending time in the presence of God, but instead spend time prioritizing it. In doing so, I pray that the Lord would bless you with discernment and lead you in the direction in which He desires for you to walk. If that means putting your two weeks notice in, then do it. Your job is something you do, not something you are. It was never meant to define you, no matter how high-status it may be.Regardless of where or who you work for, you (your spouse and kiddos included) are and will always be more important. Make the sacrifices needed in order to honor your priorities, friend. And trust that the Father will provide, because He absolutely will.{photo: @glenaigilbertphoto}
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