I struggle with anxiety. It is the thorn in my side and I often have to make the choice between filling myself with truth or letting anxiety have its way in me. I wish I could tell you that the choice is a no-brainer. It certainly seems like one, until anxiety actually strikes. Then the real battle begins.
I work 70 hour weeks with an hour commute right now. I’ve been doing this for over a year. Last November, I let my boss know that I wanted to go part-time this spring. My husband and I were excitedly counting down the days until my 5:30 AM- 7:00 PM, five days a week job became shortened to two days.
My official part-time transition date was three weeks ago. Currently, I remain full-time. On top of that, I committed to a few work from home jobs that I now have to do on top of my full-time hours. I gave a four-month notice to avoid anything like this from happening, yet it still did. I’ve got so much on my plate right now and I’m so frustrated and upset that my employer took advantage of my time in this way. So if I'm going to be completely honest with you today, then you should know it’s been a fight to keep it together lately. And when anxiety showed up to my table uninvited last week, I let it feast away on the emotional stance of my circumstances.
But then, of course, yesterday’s sermon was centered on anxiety (okay God, I see what you did there) and it convicted me in ways that made me unable to sit still. The truth is, I’ve been so distracted by my feelings about my work situation that I have allowed it to cloud my vision of the Father.
I so badly want to be in control of this situation instead of looking to the throne and trusting God through it all. I've placed my hope in all the wrong places and I’m in need of a serious mindset shift as a result.
Anxiety may have had its way in me last week, but the Lord’s mercies are new every morning and I’m ready to receive them.
When we take the time to breathe Him in and soak ourselves in the truth that no one or no thing but Christ can save us from our fears and anxieties, we realize just how cared for and covered we are (1 Peter 5:7). He has gone before us and made a way. And even when it doesn’t feel like it, there is indeed a light that waits for us at the end of our dark, unsettling tunnel. Our trials and tribulations are temporary. His throne is forever.
If you’re in a similar place right now, I want to encourage you to not give in to despair. Persist in prayer, even if God feels absent. Whether or not you believe it, God is present and speaking life in your situation, and He hears every little thing that your heart wants to say. Take a deep breath, speak it into His heart and lay it in His hands. Psalm 55:22.
{photo:
@brookecaglephotography}
Emily Lauren Cardel
Elle is a 24-year-old, sweet home Tennessee kind of gal who is fiercely passionate about chasing the call of her Creator. She lives in Murfreesboro, TN with her husband Michael and their precious pup Tucker.
She founded Daughter of Delight in 2014 and is filled with great joy to see God's plans for this ministry continue to unfold within His greater Kingdom story.
In her free time, she enjoys spending quality time with her besties, snuggling on the couch with her hubby and pup, listening to #girlboss podcasts, writing, and drinking Fair Trade coffee in its purest form...black!
You can find her on Instagram
here and join the Daughter of Delight family
here.
