Daily Delight
This past year I had to set some boundaries with a close friend of mine. At first, I felt ashamed because I thought it meant that I wasn’t loving her well, but I realized that for her health and mine, some change needed to happen. Here are some questions that helped me realize I needed to take a step back from our friendship:
1) Are you enabling an unhealthy dependence? I’m a people pleaser. And I’m the worst at saying “this is too much for me to handle.” Inevitably what happens is I become drained, unable to help everyone, and end up empty with nothing left to give. Often if someone has an unhealthy dependence on you, there’s a lack of dependence on the Lord.
2) Are you taking on the role of God? You aren’t meant to be everything for anyone. This is God’s role. If you are the only person your friend is always going to in order to seek advice, cry to, and receive help from, this a sign you’re in an unhealthy friendship. The best thing you can do for a friend is to empower them to seek the Lord first and foremost.
3) Are you allowing room for the body of Christ to help? Galatians 6:2 tells us to ‘bear one another's burdens’. This is an admonition to the church as a whole, not one person. When we try to do this on our own, relationships feel more like a burden than a blessing. One of the purposes of the church is to be a group of people who together want to encourage and grow one another. You should not be someone’s only support system.
