Daughter Dilemmas
Welcome to week seven of Daughter Dilemmas, a weekly ask column devoted to exploring hard questions, together!Asking the hard questions, the messy questions and the just plain awkward questions is important. We should not disqualify them simply because of the discomfort they bring.Finding the courage to ask honest, hard questions enables us to see that others are asking the exact same thing. It spurs (much needed) conversation and allows us to consider perspectives we may not have otherwise considered.*Please note: We are not therapists, doctors or life coaches. Our answers are not intended to give you an instant fix, but instead to point you to Jesus Christ, our Savior. Our response to each of the questions below are rooted in what we believe to be true according to our understanding of the Gospel, as well as what we believe God has laid on our hearts to share after prayerful consideration. More than anything, it is our prayer that this ask column glorifies God and blesses His people! May it encourage you in your walk with Christ and enable you to see just how much of a good thing asking hard questions can be. May it lead you into His loving embrace.To submit a question anonymously, click here.
How do I overcome disappointment of feeling worthless and not being important because of the way people treat me?
Our hearts break over this question. Sweet Sister, these people who make you feel worthless are unworthy to be your friends. You are loved by God. Precious in His sight. He proved it by dying for you, to pay for your sins. Look to Scripture as a reminder of your worth. (Psalm 139, Matthew 10: 30-31, 1 Peter 3: 3-4, 1 Peter 5:7, Romans 5:7-8) There is a song titled You Are Beloved by Jordan Feliz that you should hear and memorize. As the song says, Let it sink into your soul. (Listen to it here.) This song always reminds me of how much God loves me. God’s opinion is the only one that matters. Fix your eyes on Him so that you can rejoice in that. Find a Bible study or church community group that meets regularly so that you can surround yourself with people who model God’s love. Studying God’s word, praying with others, and praising God for your blessings can help you focus on how you have cause to be joyful. Also, consider the possibility that these thoughts of worthlessness might come from chemical imbalances in your brain. Try passion flower or other natural anxiety reducing supplements or speak to your doctor about counseling and/or anti-depressants.
How can I overcome same sex attraction? Especially when guys I've dated are meh. I get disheartened & get over it & figure my gay friends are happier.
Your gay friends might be happier than you right now in this moment of time, but what about eternally? Do they have the joy of salvation and eternal life to look forward to? To rest in? Read what we said about struggles with same sex attraction here. And pray for God to raise up a Godly man for you to love, who will love and cherish you the way that you desire and deserve.
Is it bad to live with a friend who is an unbeliever? How can I keep that person from influencing my spiritual life when we live in such close proximity?
The struggle is real. It’s so easy in the name of being friendly or not wanting to appear judgy to lower our standards and do things with friends that we know we shouldn’t. Or maybe we don’t want them to tease us, so we neglect Bible study and prayer. It isn’t sinful to live with an unbeliever, but it sure is hard. If you feel like it’s pulling you away from your relationship with God, I suggest you find a new roommate. Or, if that’s not possible, you have to stand firm. Let her see the difference in you. If she teases you, remember you aren’t trying to please her, you’re trying to live a life that pleases God. Memorize Philippians 4:8 to help you say no to watching movies with explicit content or using bad language or going out and drinking too much. This world tries hard to make us conform, but take heart! God has overcome the world!
Is it truly wrong to have a non-Christian boyfriend?
It isn’t sinful, but it is not what’s best. The Bible cautions us against relationships with unbelievers because God wants what’s best for us. (2 Cor. 6:14) Don’t fool yourself into believing you’re going to change him. Only the Holy Spirit can change him and he must have a heart that is seeking God to start with. Yes, you can be a light and encourager and a great example. Yes, you can pray for his heart to be changed. But I’ve seen couples be torn apart by this. It’s a difficult path to choose.