Daily Delight
The question came from the other end of the phone: “Have you asked Jesus what He wants?”
As I hung up, I raised my chin to the ceiling and wrinkled my nose, trying to hold back the tears that stung my eyes. My friend’s words sat heavy on my chest and I found myself agitated.
For the past 5 months, I’ve been plagued by crippling indecision and what feels like a total lack of direction in my life. For the past 5 months, I’ve gone to bed every night and woken up every morning praying, “Jesus, I want what You want.”
As I sat on my bedroom floor, phone still in hand, I began to examine the words of my prayer and the lack of clarity that I’ve been experiencing.
I realized that my daily prayer had been conditional.
Despite uttering this prayer day after day, I haven’t really wanted what Jesus wants for me– or at least not all of it! I realized that I’ve unconsciously been praying, “Jesus I want what you want, but...”
The truth is, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of the discomfort and uncertainty that comes with handing it all over to Jesus.
In C.S. Lewis' book, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘓𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘦, the character Mr. Beaver alludes to God's mighty ways as he speaks of Aslan saying, "𝘚𝘢𝘧𝘦?.. 𝘞𝘩𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦? '𝘊𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦. 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥. 𝘏𝘦'𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘐 𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶." This quote holds so much truth! God's way is not always easy, His way is not always safe. But His way is always, always good!
Jesus wants our everything, and He wants us to be brave. His love leaves no room for conditional statements or fear. We must pray for the courage to walk away from what's safe and humbly step into the next challenge saying, "𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴 𝘣𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦" (Luke 22:42).
About the Author
Hannah Aulbach
Hannah is a 21-year-old college student from St. Louis, MO, currently finishing up her undergrad in Child & Family Development at Missouri State University. She has worked to keep Christ at the forefront during her college experience, and she hopes to inspire other young women to join her on a Christ-driven journey.
Hannah loves serving the Lord through mission work, and she has spent the past two summers as a local missionary sharing the Gospel with children and teens in the St. Louis area. When she isn’t catching up on projects for school, Hannah can be found on Chick-Fil-A runs with friends, hiking new trails, jamming to her favorite praise & worship, working out, or working on a new painting project.
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