Daughter Dilemmas
Welcome to week thirteen of Daughter Dilemmas, a weekly ask column devoted to exploring hard questions, together!Asking the hard questions, the messy questions and the just plain awkward questions is important. We should not disqualify them simply because of the discomfort they bring.Finding the courage to ask honest, hard questions enables us to see that others are asking the exact same thing. It spurs (much needed) conversation and allows us to consider perspectives we may not have otherwise considered.*Please note: We are not therapists, doctors or life coaches. Our answers are not intended to give you an instant fix, but instead to point you to Jesus Christ, our Savior. Our response to each of the questions below are rooted in what we believe to be true according to our understanding of the Gospel, as well as what we believe God has laid on our hearts to share after prayerful consideration. More than anything, it is our prayer that this ask column glorifies God and blesses His people! May it encourage you in your walk with Christ and enable you to see just how much of a good thing asking hard questions can be. May it lead you into His loving embrace.To submit a question anonymously, click here.
How can I meet people when I work 24/7, 5 days a week & have trouble stepping out of my comfort zone (even when I pray to Jesus for giving me strength to do more with my life)?
It is so difficult. The struggle is real. You need that rest on the weekends because you’re working so hard, but you also need some social interaction with others who love the Lord because we can’t walk this faith alone. You could start a hiking/biking/reading/movie watching/quilting/Bible study (whatever your interest is) group (or just one other person) that meets every other week or once a month. If you plan it, you’re more likely to attend. Or be intentional about having coffee with a friend on Saturday at least once a month. Also, you could plan to go out to lunch after church with friends or new acquaintances once a month. The point is, you have to plan it in advance and put it on your calendar or it won’t happen. Don’t overdo it, so it doesn’t become a burden, but be intentional.
I want to go on a missionary trip- I'm young & have never been on one. I also haven't been to church ever since my parents divorced. I don’t know how to go back. Any advice?
It’s wonderful that you are feeling called to go on a mission trip! God is doing a work in your heart, calling you home. You don’t have to be a member of a church to go on a mission trip. Look online for the churches in your area that are planning trips. A mission trip would be a great opportunity to meet people from a church to help you feel more at home when you visit. You don’t have to go back to your childhood church if you feel awkward about it. Ask a friend if you can visit their church. There are lots of options for going back. And most churches post sermons online so you can make sure that they are Gospel-centered before you attend. Our Great Shepherd wants you back with His flock.
How can I overcome my fear of praying over others?
It is a beautiful thing to lift someone up in prayer while you stand there with them. I have been blessed to have friends that have prayed over me/ for me/ with me in times of anxiety or illness or depression. And you know what? It doesn’t matter what was said, it matters that they took the time to say it. God knows your heart. Pray that He will give you the right words for the moment, the words that person needs to hear, and not anything that is from you or from this world. Ask Him to guard your tongue from speaking anything that isn’t truth and doesn’t point to Him. When it is time to pray, you can rest in the knowledge that He will do that. If the words don’t come, it’s okay to recite memorized prayers or Scripture verses or even lyrics from hymns. As long as your goal is to glorify God and minister to this person through your prayer, you don’t need to worry. If your goal is to appear confident and Godly to others, then your heart is in the wrong place and you probably shouldn’t pray over this person at all
How can I start picking up my broken pieces & love again?
God gave us hearts that long to be in relationship. But sometimes, through no fault of our own, our hearts get broken. It’s okay to grieve for a time. But know that this relationship you lost was not what was best for you and was not what God wanted for you. Take comfort in that. He is raising up someone for you, and both of you have to go through what you’re going through now to get to the place where you are ready for each other. In the meantime, pray for that man. Pray that he’ll be equipped to handle your baggage. Pray that he will be a Godly leader in your relationship that models Christ’s love for you. And pray that your heart will be ready to receive and return that kind of love: the kind that puts God first and not self first. Then, live your life with thankfulness and do your work to the glory of God, knowing that our awesome Father in heaven knows what you need to go through to draw closer to Him and will provide that new love when the time is right.