Daughter Dilemmas
Welcome to week six of Daughter Dilemmas, a weekly ask column devoted to exploring hard questions, together!Asking the hard questions, the messy questions and the just plain awkward questions is important. We should not disqualify them simply because of the discomfort they bring.Finding the courage to ask honest, hard questions enables us to see that others are asking the exact same thing. It spurs (much needed) conversation and allows us to consider perspectives we may not have otherwise considered.*Please note: We are not therapists, doctors or life coaches. Our answers are not intended to give you an instant fix, but instead to point you to Jesus Christ, our Savior. Our response to each of the questions below are rooted in what we believe to be true according to our understanding of the Gospel, as well as what we believe God has laid on our hearts to share after prayerful consideration. More than anything, it is our prayer that this ask column glorifies God and blesses His people! May it encourage you in your walk with Christ and enable you to see just how much of a good thing asking hard questions can be. May it lead you into His loving embrace.To submit a question anonymously, click here.
How would you respond to a friend who believes same-sex marriage is not a sin? They say that I have no right to have an opinion on something that others do or who they love. I know Christ tells me it is a sin, but how do I justify the reasoning to them without using the Bible?
It is only because of the Bible that we know it is sin. But so is anger and greed and lust. God doesn’t rank our sins. Murder is not worse than lying in His eyes. Remembering that you have unrepentant sin in your life, as we all do, may help you speak in love to your friends. I’m afraid if they don’t want your opinion, you shouldn’t give it. It will fall on deaf ears, anyway. The only un-Biblical stance on this issue is that it is unnatural. Our male and female bodies and minds are created differently for a reason and purpose, to complement each other. But even that argument speaks to God’s sweet provision in creation.I feel I should refer you to Rosaria Butterfield’s book, The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert. She has been there and speaks with more understanding on this topic than I can have. I urge you to continue to love your gay friends as Christ loves you. We can not hold our friends who are not believers to the same standard that we hold ourselves, but we can hopefully live a life that is an example and share truth with them if they ask for our advice. If the friends are believers, I’m afraid they have fallen into the trap of wanting to believe it’s okay so badly that they have mistaken the lies of the world, which seek to justify it in the name of love, as truth–as we all do with so many of our sins that we don’t want to give up.
How can I put Jesus first in my decisions and relationships?
It is truly the only mandate in the Bible. If we could do this perfectly, we’d be fully sanctified. It’s like the story of Peter walking out on the water to Jesus. He only started to sink when he took his eyes off Jesus. In life, the way that we “fix our eyes on Jesus” is a matter of perspective that we must apply to every situation. Jesus humbled himself to take a human form--that’s like us choosing to be a bug--so he had the ability to suffer and die to fully pay the price for our sin. Death on a cross is so horrible. He did that for you, so that you are forgiven. Because he loves you that much. To put Jesus first in all your decisions and relationships is to keep that truth in the front of your thoughts. I don’t know about you, but when I think about what he did and why, I am humbled and heartbroken that my sin caused him pain. I want to do all that I can to glorify him.In a practical sense, study Scripture, memorize Scripture, pray and sing songs of praise and thanksgiving, try to love others as much as you love yourself, be His hands and feet, and approach all decisions and relationships with humility because of the knowledge that it is only by God’s grace that you are saved. No one does this perfectly. But fix your eyes on Jesus and He will keep you from slipping into the waves of this world.
How can I be a better role model?
In my opinion, the best Bible verse that answers that question is Philippians 2:12-16. “Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed--not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence--continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life--in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.” In other words, live out your faith. Show love. Be forgiving. Be generous with your gifts and time and your example to others will be a light that points them to Christ--the greatest role model.
How do we know the Bible is true?
"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” -Jeremiah 29:13 (NIV)
Before the Holy Spirit changed my heart and I was born again/saved/a new creation, I couldn’t know that the Bible was true. In fact, I didn’t understand it at all. I had one of those “road to Damascus” conversion experiences. I truly felt like I had been blind to the truth of the Gospel and suddenly it was all clear. A deep reassurance was put in my heart. Something I have learned that proves the truth of the Bible to my rational brain, is the way it is so intricately constructed to point to Jesus from start to finish. Every story paints a picture of the Gospel. God doesn’t want us to miss it. If this is a new idea to you, I urge you to read The Jesus Storybook Bible and to look into Nancy Guthrie’s Bible study series, Seeing Jesus in the Old Testament. (I have also blogged about it at www.withopenedeyes.com)